Hook your reader Ask yourself: "Would they want to read more?"
Lead them up, up, up the skate ramp with you Ask yourself: "Are the events keeping my reader truly interested?"
Bring your characters to life Ask yourself: "Are my images and $100 words as spectacular as "My Baby Sister" was to read?"
Make your ending stick to your reader like peanut butter! Ask yourself: "Will my reader have a hard time forgetting my story?"
7 comments:
Math Monster Haley
One stormy night there was a evil creature named Math Monster Haley. She used to be the smartest in Deathwart town. She wanteed attention by putting up signs that said "I'm the smartest! Meet me at Deathwart time!"
When the town came they turned her into a evil monkey by feeding her a evil banana. After that, she destroyed Deathwart town. The town had finally seen what was inside her, so they turned her into a penguin by the monkey witch because she hates other people being like her, so she took a banana, and put fish oil on it.
"POOF!" Math Monkey Haley turned into Math Penguin Haley! They lived happily ever after.
The End.
P.s. Except for Math Penguin Haley. A few weeks later, Math Penguin Haley had finally came to her grave. One day, she came back and haunted Deathwart town. Her body was never found. When they dug up her grave, nothing was there but dust. Muahahahahaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Lost Conch Shell
By: Elijah and Natalie
One peaceful afternoon on Sea Shell Island Mr.Pancake ( a purple turtle ) was resting on a speckled magenta rock. While a fat friendly whale poked his gigantic head through the sea bed. Mr.Pancake said " Hey how's it goin' Wilbert."
Wilbert replied "oh I can't find MY LUCKY CONCH SHELL, It was left here on the island." Mr. pancake said " is this your conch shell." Mr.Pancake got off the conch shell. Mr.Pancake grumbled " Ugh- oh (2 hours later) ugh- oh almost there ahhh! Finally I'm off."
Wilbert exclaimed "Thanks Mr.Pancake. Mr.Pancake replied "No problem but I need some sore pills and some ointment." Mr. pancake and Wilbert said simotainously " that's bye folks that's all!"
Jojo And Olivia
By:Darlene and
Chessa
The year of 2010 in Hollywood California,lived a brother and sister.Their name were Jojo and Olivia.Olivia was 7 and Jojo was 12.One day Olivia was wering her mothers heels.
"ahhhh"Olivia screamed.Olivia fell down a 12 ft hole.This was not a normal hole.15 yaears ago a 97 year old ladie fell down this hole and hit her head.
Olivia screamed for help,but no one could hear her because she was to far down.Finally,Jojo heard her.
"Where are you Olivia?" asked Jojo.
"Down here goofball!" retorted Oliva.
"What are you doing down there,did the poor baby fall?" said Jojo.
"No I just wanted to sit doen here" retorted Olivia.
Sunddenly, Jo Jo ran back to their house to find a chain.He ran back to the hole where Olivia was trapped.
"I have a chain. I can get you out!" exclaimed Jo Jo
YANK YANK YANK
"Yes I'm out!!!!"
Jo Jo and Olivia skipped into the bursting sunset.
Tune in next time to find out what happends next with Jo Jo and Olivia...
The Adventures of Tobafire and Spiker the Biker! By Angeline and cameron
One dark and stormy night in a black and dark cave a horrible and insane boy named Toby was about to eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.When his arch enemy put a spell on it to make Toby good.All of a sudden, Toby turned evil and became Tobafire.Tobafires arch enemy was Spiker the Biker.
'Oh no Toby turned evil'Spiker the Biker yelled.
'I will destroy youforever ever' Tobyafires voice echkowed through the cave of darkness.Tobafire and spiker pushed each other.'Ahh ahh this is not the end' Tobafire replied. When spiker put a sleeping spell on Tobafire.
The dazzilng and clever spiker saved the world from evil.Spiker turned around.A voice came from Tobafires cave.Right after Spiker said I saved the world someone yelld ''Or did you...Wa ha ha.
There was a miniture, colorful parrot.He was green,purple,orange and yellow parrot.His name was parrot.Parrot lived in a perfectly,light green jungle called laugharina.
The reason the jungle was called,Laugharina was becouse everyone laughed at him because he could not fly.
Another reason the anamals laughed at parrot was because he told funny jokes(that was one good reason about parrot.)
That verry same night, parrot was sitting on a rock infront of his colorful home,when he heard a scratching, noise that scratching noise was a doubled sized, black bat.The black bat landed right in front.
Parroyt asked,"Who are you and what are you doing at my house?"
"Oops pardon of me. I didn't want to barge in." He said in a very squeeky voice. Parrot said, "You didn't answer my questian, where are you from?"
"I'm from Hawaii and I brought you something, humans call it coco -hut"
"You meen coco nut?"
"Yea whatever thats called."
Just then Parrot sat back on the rock and had a very sad face. Bat asked, "Whata's wrong?"
"Everybody keeps laughing at me in the jungle because I can't fly" said Parrot with a very droopy sad voice.
"Oh, I got it! I'll teach you how to fly" said Bat.
"Ok!!"
Bat told Parrot the basics, and the next day he was flying like his best friend Bat.
Dear Haley & Julian,
Erika and I love our story.It was spectacular.We love your guys setting it has such a Adrenalin rush.Are you going to write another math monster Haley?
luv,Erika & Chessa
Fourth Graders,
You need to realize what amazing and imaginative writers you are becoming. Now, take a bow!
Erika and Chessa,
Thanks for responding and letting Haley and Julian know what you thought of their story.
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